Hal Wastes his Wages
Pain in the Mass Transit
11/5/09

I don’t take the ferry as much as I’d like. I’d obviously prefer to sail across the open water rather than flush myself through the subterranean bowels of the Port Authority Trans-Hudson. But the...
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Destination Ball Caps – the Modern American Mullet
Few things in contemporary American society have so clearly illustrated the duality of man with such exquisite panache as the mullet hairstyle. Business in front, party in the back – there’s not ...
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The smell of wine and cheap perfume
This is not a revisionist point of view - anyone who knows me will tell you I’ve always had an outward contempt for these people, even when I was bartending… The concept behind a “pubcrawl” is i...
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Wild on the Hudson
8/27/09

As dawn was breaking upon my fire escape I watched as a large grey rodent slowly crept out of the shadows. Then I wondered if I’d have found it to be even remotely cute if it hadn’t had that bush...
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The Old, the New, and the Cheesesteak
8/13/09

There are three main demographics when it comes to Hoboken’s political landscape. There’s Paleoboken, made up of people who were born here, raised here, conceived here, or are in bed with somebod...
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Woeboken
7/23/09

In 1846, the first recorded game of baseball took place in Hoboken, New Jersey. Since then, everybody’s wanted someone around who would “play ball.” An up-and-coming rookie, Hoboken Mayor Peter C...
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Womanifest Destiny
7/16/09

Were it not for the gaudy Guinness poster on the living room wall or the pair of balled up socks I invariably leave on the floor by the couch, you could walk into my apartment on any given day an...
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Disgracebook
7/9/09

“I am officially flip-flopping.” – Mayor Joseph “Diamond Joe” Quimby, Springfield, U.S.A. Before you judge me… I gratefully consider myself lucky to still have a writing gig in this volatile clim...
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Iran So Far Away
6/18/09

“And Iran, Iran so far away…” – A Flock of Seagulls, 1982 If it hasn’t happened already, I imagine some wingnut on some website somewhere is likely to make the comparison bet...
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Why do I live here?
6/4/09

There’s nothing like election season in Hoboken, N.J. to make you question why the hell you’d ever want to live here in the first place. A tremendous amount of effort by all “concerned” goes into...
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Arsewipes on asphalt
There are two types of parents in this world – the kind that scamper home any time their little bundle of joy fills its britches so that they may change the diaper in a private and sanitary envir...
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The Sandpaper Revolution
We’re worn down. We’ve been grated upon, rubbed raw and we’re irritated – chafed by the calloused hands of the powers that be. But we’re not looking to hang anyone from piano wire, overrun the Ba...
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